The bully and the bullied... are they the same person?

 

   So today's post is going to be a little different. I'm going to use 'gifs' to make things interesting, and easier to understand.
  
   My post today is about bullying. We all know what bullying is. We all know that there are many different kinds of bullying. But do we really know who the bully is? Who's the bully truly is your life? Believe it or not, but you just might be your own bully.

 

  While I was in school (mostly Jr. High) I was bullied. Now it wasn't that bad. But it did hurt. I was bullied because... yup, you guessed it, my weight. Like I've said before, I've ALWAYS been the 'bigger guy'. Not only did I know this already, but I had many people tell it to my face also. I've been called the classic names, like fat...big... etc. But I 've got to say, the ones that hurt the most, were people trying to be funny about it. For example... I remember when I was in Jr. High, someone said that when I walk down the hall, I should walk as close to the wall as possible because I take up to much room. Or another example, I went to a Halloween dance in Jr. High, and I dressed up in one of those costumes that has a fan in the back and it blows the costume up into something big. I was a plumber. I thought it was the funniest costume ever. It made it look like I was 600 LBS, I had a plumber butt, and the shirt looked like it was 3 sizes to small. I walked into the dance, still thinking this was the best costume ever, and then the first thing someone said to me was... "Rob, why didn't you dress up?"

 

You hear these words, and you try and act like nothing is wrong.

You laugh along with them.

 

On the outside, you look like this...

 

 

 But really, on the inside you look like this...

 

 

  Everyone has these days. But really, what are a few words? Do these words really define who you are? Well, the answer to that is... only if you let them.

  In my drawing class this week, we talked about this very thing. You are your own bully. You are the one who chooses to have these words effect you. It's true. We can choose to let it define us, or we can chose to let it go. My drawing teacher said that if we sit and focus on all the negative thoughts we have, whether it be about ourselves, or others, those negative thoughts will add up. Here, think of it this way... Imagine that every negative thought you think is a penny. One penny doesn't do very much... but then they begin to add up. Soon you have 20 pennies. 60 pennies. 200 pennies. 3,000 pennies. You get the picture... After awhile, you are swimming in pennies or in other words, you are swimming in your negative thoughts. 

 

 

 

    My teacher then went on to explain, that the more negative thoughts we have, the more negative, sad, and depressed we become. It's our choice. Yes, others may call you names, but its you and you alone who decides to have it effect you. My teacher then went around the class, and we had to say one positive thing about ourselves out loud. I was scared to do this... but the entire class did it, and so did I. Let me tell you.... it might be hard to give yourself a compliment, but it makes everything that much better. It works. So that's what I want you to do right now, I want you to give yourself a compliment. OUT LOUD! Say it. Say... you are creative, kind, beautiful, pretty, smart, outgoing... Whatever you want to say. Say it now. No joke. Out loud. If anyone hears you, and asks what you are doing, just smile, and compliment them also. It works. No more negative thought, only positive.

 

 

 

   Here is a really awesome story, I don't know if you guys have read it before, but it goes along really well with this post. So I'm going to share it... 

 

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: ..."How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

 

 

  So I hope this post made sense. What I'm trying to say here is, don't be your own bully. People are going to judge, and call you names, what ever they may be, but it's your choice to let them go or not. The only person who gets the right to define who you are is yourself. When someone calls you a name, don't accepted it, you need to reject it. Prove them wrong. Show them who you really are. You are a person. A person with feelings. You are a person who is beautiful.

 

 

 

Don't be a bully.

Don't judge.

Think positive.

 

 

__________________________________________________________________________

 

  Alright, now for my weight loss. Well, this week I've lost 2.6 LBS. FINALLY!! I'm so happy about this. I've also lost about 3 inches around my belly since the start. After two bad weeks of gaining, I am now back in the 60s., which is good. I'm still doing LOTS of swimming with my friend Chase. We go at least 4 times a week for about 2 hours of swimming. We even sometimes lift weights and bike or run before. I can feel and see a different. I feels more toned and muscular, and healthier. It's taking sometime, but I can see and feel a difference fat wise also. I'm not giving this swimming thing up. It's seriously the best thing that has happened to me, to bad I didn't think of it before. Swimming is such a great workout, and I seriously recommend it. GO SWIMMING! My goal this week is just to lose. I don't really care how much, as long as I lose something.

 

 

271.6 - 2.6 =

269

 

 

 

 

When all hope is lost, angels lift you up...

Well, this week was horrible for me. I was heart broken, devastated, and I lost my hope...

  At the beginning of the week, I was super stressed. I had so many things happening, and no time to do it in. I had to write a 5 page essay for my English class that was due on Tuesday, I had a phone interview for the Disney College Program on Tuesday morning, and I had to give a presentation in my drawing class on Tuesday as well. Tuesday was a big day for me. But I got through it.

   I'm not sure if you guys know, but I've been trying to get into the Disney College Program for a year now. I've applied 3 times, and I've had 3 phone interviews with them. The third one was on Tuesday. I really really want to get into the program. It's my biggest dream to work for the mouse. It's all I think about. I was so excited to apply this month. If I was accepted, I would leave in August to go work at one of the Disney Parks. It also was motivation for me. I wanted to lose the weight for the program. It's what kept me going on my weight loss.
  
   But, on Friday, I got denied for the program. I was devastated. I was heart broken. I didn't know what to do or think. I gave up. I gave up on working out, I gave up eating healthy. I thought, what's the point. There is no point for me to keep moving forward, no point for me to lose the wait. No point for anything. I just didn't care. It also didn't help that it was the day after Valentines Day when I found out. There was chocolate and cookies everywhere, and I gave in, and I regret it.

On top of it all, I weighed in today, and gained a pound. This just added to everything. This didn't help at all. I swam at least 3 time this week, did some cardio, and even lifted some weights. So maybe it muscle I gained, but who knows. I don't want to gain, I want to lose!! I went swimming again today with my friend, and I felt uncomfortable. I felt like everyone was starring at me. I was just the "big" guy there. I felt judged. This just made me more upset. Upset at myself, upset at the world, just UPSET! Everything was going wrong, and I lost any motivation that I had left.
And then, I got this message on Facebook from a friend named Sierra who I've never met before. She also applied for the Disney College Program and got denied. This is what she said...

 Hey Robby! I just wanted to say thank you for your weight loss blog!! You had inspired me to join weight watchers, too! I just had my weigh in (I've been doing it for a month today) and I've lost 21.7 pounds!! I owe it to you. And even though I really wanted to be in the DCP for this fall, we now have a few extra months to get in shape!!! You will get in this next time. I know it. :) and thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU again for being an inspiration to me!!!

This seriously made my WEEK! I was so freaking proud of her. 21 pounds in one month, HOLLY CRAP! That is so good. I was so happy when I read this, and my motivation sky rocketed. Out of all the devastation I've had this week, she was there to lift me up. She didn't know that I was down, but yet she lifted my up, dusted me off, and told me to keep going. Thanks so much Sierra! Keep going strong girl! I'm so proud.

270.06 + 1.0 =

271.06

Problems...

Ok ladies and gents. I have a problem. I gained this week. Yup, that's right. I didn't want to write this post, because I felt ashamed, but I have to. So here it is.

First. I didn't gain that much. I only gained 0.8 LBS. So not even a pound. But it sucks, because I am back into the 270s.

Second. I think I gained this week because of two things. Those things are cookies and swimming.

Cookies... my mom decided she wanted to make cookies at the beginning of the week. There is one thing you got to know. My mom makes the best cookies in the world. Seriously though... so good. So not only did she make cookies, she made like 5 batched of them. THEY WERE EVERYWHERE!! Now, I'm not saying that my mom making cookies is the reason why I gained. I take full responsibility. Cookies are my weakness. I know this now. HAHA.. But I had like 2-3 cookies a day!! Yeah, I counted them into my diet, and thought it was ok, but I guess not. NO MORE COOKIES!!

Swimming... I swam a couple of times this week. I went with my friend Chase. We go swimming for fun, we don't really swim laps or anything. But this week I tried to move a little more than I usually do while swimming. I told myself that I should go to the deep end, and swim with just my legs for 10 mins. I couldn't touch the ground, or the walls, or use my arms. So there I was, with my arms tucked behind my back, kicking my legs for ten mins trying to keep my chin above the water. It sounds easy, but boy did it hurt after. I could feel the burn in my legs. I was building muscle! That night I felt it too.

So there ya go. I gained. But maybe it wasn't all fat. I bet I gained muscle this week from swimming, and you know what, I bet next week I will build more muscle, because Chase and I are going to go to the gym and swim at least 3 times next week. I guess we will just see what happens. But I should lay off the sweets. :P

269.8 + 0.8 =

270.6

10 pound prize!

   So earlier this week, I was feeling a little discouraged. I started to feel like no matter what I did, I was never going to obtain the look/shape I want. I told myself what's the point. Yes, I can lose all this weight, but I'm always going to be big. I'm always going to be fat. This was very hard for me, and I'm not going to lie, I lost some of my hope for awhile. I went online and watched a few weight loss stories from other people, and I realized it is possible. Yeah, it's going to be hard, and it's going to take some time... a lot of time. But most of all, it's going to take effort. It's not going to be handed to me. It's not only my goal, but it's my struggle. It's only as hard as you make it out to be. I'm just going to try my best everyday for as long as it takes. I'm going to keep writing in this blog. I'm going to keep eating healthy, and I'm going to stay strong. It's going to work, but only if I work. Everyday is a new day. I just need to take it one day at a time.

   So, I love to swim. Swimming is not only a blast, but it is such a GOOD workout! You can burn so many calories from just a an hour or two of swimming. I'm going to try and go every other day from now on. I feel the reason why I lost the weight I lost this week is because of swimming. I suggest you go swimming if you are looking for a fun and easy workout.

  Well, as you can see from the title of this post, I lost 3 pounds this week, and I've reached my first goal. 10 pounds! I'm so happy! It took longer then I wanted, but hey, I'm here. I finally got my prize for losing 10 pounds. I go to go to McDonald's for dinner tonight! That was my prize. Yup, I rewarded myself with food. Just a small meal, and it was delicious. I didn't just reach my 10 pound goal, I went beyond it! I've lost a little over 12 pounds total since I've started! YEAHHH BUDDY! Now I just need to figure out what my next 10 pound prize will be, and get started. What do you suggest?

272.8 - 3 =

269.8